There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
