You work out of a Hotel?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
