Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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