and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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