my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
