Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
