Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
