i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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