He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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