I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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