He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
