Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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