Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
