so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
