you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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