I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
where am i from again
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
