Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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