my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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