maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
