A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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