Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
