MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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