so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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