My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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