So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
