How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
