he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
