I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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