I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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