I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
