I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize