he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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