she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
