i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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