Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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