Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
