Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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