I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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