Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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