So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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