I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
