I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
