friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
