What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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