I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Enjoy the penises
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
