so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm at about main and main street
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
