You really coming over, don't trick.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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