dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
