We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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