wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
