Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
