let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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