why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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