You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
that may or may not have been my penis.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
