WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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