I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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