Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
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I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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