did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
