All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
That's intense
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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