i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
