I don't think brook has ever known best
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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