the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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