College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
