he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
