I wish I only lived at night.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
