i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
