Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so let's talk penis.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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